This may come as a shock, but all of the surgeries this past year haven’t made it impossible to type. I’ve just been fairly slammed… Surgery, work 10 hour days, Surgery, work 10-12 hour days, have a baby, Surgery, work some more, go to Mayo… well you get the picture. I apologize for the radio silence, and I want to work to rectify that.
My therapist (yes, having your body physically torn apart can leave some emotional issues in its wake, so I have sought out the services of a counselor) pointed out to me that I tend to feel emotions very deeply AND a wide array of emotions simultaneously, so it will be difficult for me to be brief when talking about this past year. I’ve experienced so much fear, joy, anxiety, healing, faith, suffering, hope, anger, sadness, elation … so much in this past year. It would be way too much for me to try and unpack in one post but I want to try and summarize my experiences and feelings in a series of posts to follow.
I will say that I am doing alright and there is an end in sight. I’m excited to have this whole ordeal be over so Katie and I can move on and start the next chapter of our life and ministry. We are continually praying as we zero in on the December 26th surgery date. Thanks to all of you have stood by us and continue to support us through this season.
This season is one predicated with extreme faith. I mean, we’ve had faith all of this time, but now it’s starting to feel more real. It took faith to say yes to be a missionary sure, but just before Thanksgiving, I left my job… with no plan of finding a new one. We’ve cut a lot of the final anchor ropes and have fully drifted out into the sea of God’s Will. No home of our own, gave away our second car I used for work, and now there isn’t a backup plan for our finances. It’s just fundraising and sprinting towards our departure date.
Transitioning into being home full-time has been interesting. I didn’t realize how much of my identity was tied up in being a “worker.” Can I say that it has been liberating?!? Getting back to being a husband and now a FATHER in a whole new way has been refreshing. It’s been teaching me that sometimes the hard things, the things that make the least sense, have the biggest rewards. The simpler and more “scary” our life becomes (or so it might seem on the outside), the closer our family becomes and the more “right” my life seems.
Maybe that is the mystery of faith. The “Upside-down Kingdom” if you will. I guess the moral of the story is taking the leap is worth it. Don’t live for tomorrow, live for today. Take the big risks and believe God’s promises. You never know what could happen.
I’m starting to ramble now. I didn’t have a ton to say today, but I wanted to know that I’m back, and I won’t wait another year to post.